COMPANION PASS: Lily Hay

I never saw it coming… but apparently he did. It was December 12, 2018, and Dawson Hay was in Las Vegas accepting the coveted Rookie of the Year award in bronc riding. Turns out, the best way to celebrate that accomplishment was by having too good of a time getting a new little tattoo, and so he did. When his mother saw it, she said “Dawson, it’s your body and you can do with it what you want. But someday you will meet your future wife and you will have to explain this tattoo.” To which he replied “Well that’s fine because I met my future wife last night. Her name is Lily, she’s from California, she saw the tattoo and she’s fine with it.” As unlikely as that sounds, he was right. Hi! I’m Lily from California, and that was the first time I met Dawson. Soon after, I had the privilege of holding his Companion Pass from that day forward. Now, I am blessed to have him as my husband after we were married in October 2021.

Perhaps I should have seen it coming that I would somehow end up with a rodeo cowboy. I started competing in rodeo when I was in the first grade and my life revolved around rodeo all the way through college. Throughout my career, I was lucky enough to win a High School National title, multiple California State titles, and several all-around titles. I finished my rodeo career in college as part of the Cal Poly rodeo team. Aside from my personal career, I have a long family history in rodeo, particularly bronc riding. My grandfather, John Holman was a multiple NFR qualifier, my uncle Joe Marvel was a World Champion, and my cousin Lefty Holman made his NFR debut in 2020 in bronc riding. Dawson also has a rich family history in the sport. His father Rod Hay qualified for the NFR in bronc riding for 20 years in a row and Dawson’s brothers also compete in the sport. Dawson and I hadn’t even been on our second date before people started making jokes about how our future children would be triple-bred bronc riders (a Marvel, a Holman and a Hay). We’ll see! 

My intense love for the sport of rodeo is a huge part of who I am. But growing up around cowboys, I never dated them. I knew that being with a rodeo cowboy meant there would be a hard road ahead, but as they say, you don’t get to choose who you love. The first couple of years we were dating, I was still in college working to finish my degree. I’d be in the library studying and he’d be out traveling around having a blast at rodeos and bars. When Dawson made his first NFR, I had to convince (i.e., beg) my professors to let me move my finals around so that I could go watch and support him. They were nice enough to let me and I was able to finish my degree and watch my future husband at the NFR!

Following graduation, I went to work with my best friend and role model Quincy Eldridge, a.k.a. Rodeo Quincy. Rodeo Quincy is a western fashion brand and sometimes I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have a job where I spend my days looking at fashion trends, shopping and working with clothing. I love my job because I love fashion, but more importantly, I love my job because of Quincy. She’s my aunt, which is kind of funny because we’re only six years apart, so she feels more like an older sister to me. She is a wonderful role model both in business and because she’s a good example of how to be independent as a rodeo wife. Quincy is married to Dakota Eldridge who is an eight-time NFR qualifier in steer wrestling. My work has been a blessing because it keeps me busy in my own life, which is crucial when Dawson is out on the road for extended periods of time. 

Recently, Quincy and I developed a new fashion line called Marvel Cowboy. This line in particular is special to me because it paid tribute to my late grandmother Sally Marvel Freeman. Sally was an amazing woman, a trend-setter, and she had an enormous impact on our family. I was very thankful that Dawson had a chance to meet Sally before she passed away. Although my Nana never wanted me to follow in her footsteps by marrying a bronc rider, when she met Dawson, she couldn’t help but love him, just like I did. Dawson has that effect on people.

Don’t get me wrong, for all of the highs there are in the rodeo world, there’s an equal (or greater) number of lows. If you only pay attention to social media, the rodeo world looks like it is always fun and glamorous. There are lots of cute outfits, award ceremonies, and big wild rodeos. But I can tell you from my own experience that it does not feel very glamorous when you’re traveling around in a “roughy” van with five other bronc riders and you have to do your nighttime skin care routine in a gas station bathroom (If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is. But skin first!!). The reality is that the best moments are broadcast across social media, but the gas station face washings and the lonely times are kept quiet.

Rodeo can be so fun, adventurous, and exciting but it can also be heartbreaking, stressful and lonely. Rodeo has given me some of the best memories in my life, and some of the worst. Anyone who has competed in this sport or loved someone who has competed in it knows that with the wins and successes come extreme heart break. Rodeo is a unique sport in the way that it is very individual and there is so much work, passion, and preparation that goes into a few seconds of performance. It's not like a football game where you have a team to rely on and you have an entire game to see how the results play out. Rodeo is over in an instant. And although I am no longer the one competing, when you truly love someone, their dreams and happiness become your own. When Dawson is having a hard time on the road, I find my heart heavy along with his.

To say I worry about Dawson on the road would be an understatement. I worry about the long night drives, his sleeping and eating schedule, and how he will do that day in the rodeo. But most of all, I worry about his safety. One day in the midst of the summer run, while I was deep in worry, I asked my mother “How did Nana Rose (my great grandmother) do this? How did she handle having three sons compete in bronc riding and rodeo for a living?” My mother’s response was simply: “She prayed the rosary.” And that’s the best advice. I pray the rosary and put our lives and trust in God’s hands. I love to see Dawson do well, but rodeo is such a dangerous sport and if he walks out of the arena healthy, I am counting my blessings and I consider that a win. 

Being married to a rodeo cowboy has also resulted in some surprises about how I experience certain milestones in my life. When we were newly engaged, we were on the road in his “roughy” van on a way to a rodeo in Cheyenne, Wyoming. We ended up registering for our wedding while parked in the van and I remember thinking how much fun it is going to be to open our wedding presents together. But, as is often the case, Dawson was on the road and I ended up opening our presents by myself and putting them away. All the while thinking this would be a fun moment to share with someone. I often find myself with these thoughts.

Of course we had to plan our wedding around the rodeo season, because Lord-forbid we have a traditional spring or summer wedding. But if we wanted all the groomsmen and wedding guests to attend (most of our friends are also in the rodeo world!), we had to wait for a short break in the action. And that’s also kind of how life is with a rodeo cowboy. You can’t plan anything. 

However, I always try to look on the bright side and tell myself that this long-distance type of relationship keeps us in a constant honeymoon phase, which we most definitely are. Having a rodeo cowboy husband means that you are the man of the house when he’s gone, which is most of the time. I really wish I had my husband around when I'm fixing broken sprinklers and trying to figure out why the dryer doesn’t work. I’m convinced that my neighbors still don't believe I actually have a husband.

But then I remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. Saying that opposites attract is an understatement in our case. He’s the life of the party, he’s fearless and lives life to the fullest. Meanwhile, the homebody in me is perfectly content to sit in my living room with a cup of tea, rather than go out for the night. He does a good job of bringing me out of my shell and I do a fairly decent job of reeling him back in. At the age of 24, I was devastated to discover a gray hair. I immediately blamed myself for marrying a man whose motto is “If you aren’t living life on the edge, you take up too much space.” And “The road goes on forever and the party never ends.” Fittingly enough, our first dance song at our wedding was “Good Hearted Woman In Love With a Good Timin’ Man” by Waylon Jennings. Pretty spot on. 

Luckily, technology makes it pretty easy to see my husband and I’m grateful for the awesome work the Cowboy Channel does. The fact that I can watch my husband at almost every rodeo is such a blessing, as sometimes a TV screen is the closest I’m able to see Dawson’s sweet little face.  

One thing I will say is that to live this lifestyle you have to be confident and secure in yourself and your relationship, and you have to have a lot of trust in your partner. I can’t lie, it’s not easy for any girl when you are curling up alone in bed, knowing your husband is out and about in a crowded bar. Dawson has never made me question that he only has eyes for me, but it’s easy to let insecurities creep in and that’s when it comes down to being confident in yourself and knowing your own self-worth. I’ve had the best examples in my life of strong, self-assured, independent women growing up. Some of the best advice I’ve received, and can also give is to know what you bring to the table in the relationship. I was definitely raised to know that a man can complement my life without making it all together. Any man worth loving will know what he has and value it. And I think it was this independent attitude that also drew Dawson to me in the first place. 

As hard as the rodeo life can be, there are such special moments and experiences that are beyond anything else. I’ve had the privilege of traveling to some of the most beautiful places (I saw the northern lights while in town for a rodeo!), met the best people and made lifelong memories. There is nothing quite like a rodeo, the crowd, the atmosphere, and seeing the sheer joy in his eyes after making a great ride. And since we all know that being a rodeo cowboy isn’t forever, I truly enjoy it while we’re in it and soak up every minute. It’s a fun, crazy way of life and it’s not traditional, but it’s a family tradition to me. Who’d of thought that two years after I met Dawson (with his brand-new tattoo), he would take me back to that exact same spot where we first laid eyes on each other and ask me to have his Companion Pass forever.